Your Face
by ILuvFLUFFYmarshmellows
Summary: Join Uoka and Sarah on a journey across the universe and back. Read as they pick up friends along the way and face evil itself to accomplish what no other could...
1. BearManPig

Once upon a time there lived a monster named Bear-Man-Pig! He was a monster that was part bear, part man, and part pig. One day, he was walking in the forest when all of a sudden he saw two girls sitting on a dead Big Foot, braiding its hair. The two girls were named Uoka ( a stupid, pretty, asian girl) and Sarah (a stupid mental patient). Well, Uoka was also a mental patient. They had escaped earlier that day.

All of a sudden, two evil witches named Jessica the Ginger and Cina the Goth appeared and began to scream and chase Uoka, Sarah and Bear-Man-Pig or BMP. In a flurry of panic, the trio hid in a rotting elephant. BMP, thinking they were going to be here for awhile, began to gorge on the intenstines of the carcass. Sarah ate the elephant eyeballs and brain. Uoka sat quietly, watching her friends eat. (Ok! We lied! Uoka ate everything else!)

Before they finished their meal, a herd of ADD's appeared and devoured what was left of the elephant. As the ADD's feasted on the dead animal, the one's that hid in the carcass escaped. As they ran, BMP tripped on a rock. But, if you look closely, the rock said, '' Pamela Anderson's breast implant. Left side.'' With this sudden stop, Uoka popped out of the bushes she and Sarah had fallen in. But, they didn't appear as they did before. Uoka had a HUGE bust and so did Sarah. ''Whoops! I tripped!'' exclaimed Uoka. She began to take out the implants while Sarah put them in her pants for later use. So now Sarah had double P balls! BMP ate about eleven of Pamela Anderson's implants before he got sick and vomited on Uoka.

Suddenly, Jessica and Cina popped out and ate BMP! Afraid for her life, Sarah sacrificed Uoka and ran. After a moment of struggle, Uoka escaped and ran after Sarah. Plotting a plan of revenge. She planned to give her to the evil snowman who lived in the Sahara Desert.

(But first! We interrupt this story to bring you BMP the Cereal! The cereal includes individual shapes of bears,men,pigs! With flavors such as rubber tires, rotting animals, farts and lots more! NOOOOW...back to the story!)

Sarah stopped and saw Uoka. She ran toward her and said, " Sorry! I was scared! I panicked! Plese forgive me!'' Sarah gave Uoka an apologetic hug. As Sarah hugged her, Uoka pulled out a knife that would send Sarah to a planet called Pickle Wickle Dickle or PWD. Uoka stabbed Sarah and sent her to live forever in PWD. But, little did she know that Sarah would return and kill her!

After a moment of boredom, Sarah resurrected Uoka and they decided to team up against the evil witches! With this alliance, Sarah's army of PWD and Uoka's monkey army joined to fight alongside one another in the battle. Thier combined army consisted of, two people. Which was just Sarah and Uoka.

Even though Uoka was still angry, she focused all of her negative energy towards her and Sarah's goal, ridding this world of the evil witches. Armed with two ordinary sticks, the girls looked ready to defend themselves against a horde of pinatas.

Before the epic battle had even begun, the witches killed Sarah and Uoka!


	2. The Quest

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Last time we left our would be heroines, they died. Well, that was just a clever plan that Sarah and Uoka thought of. What really happened was, when the witches attacked, Uoka and Sarah quickly transported to PWD. Their ''ordinary'' sticks were actually magical, transporting, ''uber'' cool sticks. With these uber cool sticks, they escaped and went to think of a better plan to kill the evil witches.

After a few days of deep thinking, they could not compose a strategy good enough to defeat the wicked women. So, they set out to find the most diabolical thinker to ever live. . . Barney! No one knew that Barney was the real mastermind behind Hitler's plan and that he assassinated John F. Kennedy. He was also the leader of the KKK (until they found out he wasn't white).

After a few days of traveling, Sarah and Uoka finally reached Barney's lair. He welcomed them into his home and after a meal, discussed their problem. '' So...we came here...'' said Sarah as she finished her tale. Barney had a look of deep concentration upon his face and did not say anything. Everyone sat in silence until the purple dinosaur lifted his head and spoke,'' I have a plan. But you must do a mission for me to gain it.'' The girls nodded in approval. They would do anything to rid the cosmos of those horrid witches. Barney inwardly grinned. _'This should be fun...' _ He gave a light chuckle, which earned him two confused stares. '' Alright, you must retrieve four items: one Walah Walah Bang Bang berry, the very rare and expensive BMP plate, green play-doh, and a few strands of Queen ADD's hair.'' Barney finished. Sarah and Uoka replied with a, ''Okie Dokie!'' and left to begin their mission.

Two minutes into the mission and there was already a problem. They had forgotten what to get! So they returned to Barney's and wrote their instructions down. Afterwards, they _really_ began their adventure. Starting with their first task, find a Walah Walah Bang Bang berry.

As they searched the magical berry forest, Sarah flipped through a book of berries for reference. Lookind in the w's, they found a Walah Walah Bang Bang berry picture. It was a three foot tall by one foot wide berry with yellow and green stripes. Blue dots spotted the fruit. '' Only three exist.'' stated Uoka. '' Are you serious?'' Sarah asked. The asian nodded. Sarah closed the book. '' Well, then let's start sear-'' the native american mix didn't get to finish her sentence as she plummeted to the ground. '' Owwww!'' Sarah shouted. Uoka was about to ask if her friend was okay until her face also met the forest floor. The duo looked to see what had tripped them but found something else. It was atleast three hundred Walah Walah Bang Bang berries! The girls snatched up two berries (they wanted to impress Barney) and ate the rest of the berries so no one else could get them. They placed the saved berries in a magical sack made of their old friend's skin, BMP.

They checked that objection off their list and began to search for their next one, find BMP's plate. Uoka went to the Salvation Army while Sarah checked in a few thrift stores. But, alas! the plate was nowhere to be seen! With frustrated sighs, the girls went to BMP's house to try and lift their depressed spirits. '' I'm thirsty.'' Sarah groaned. Uoka agreed. As they ransacked BMP's cabinets for cups they found yet another item that they much needed, BMP's plate! To celebrate their great find, they drank to their heart's content of BMP's apple juice and soda.

Next item, green play-doh. But, it only existed in the human world. So they transported themselves to earth and arrived at Target. They wandered down the aisles, eyes darted frantically in their search for green play-doh. Uoka and Sarah arrived in the middle of the large section of play-doh products. ''Well?'' Uoka questioned. '' Only red and blue.'' replied Sarah with a sigh. The girls hung their head in shame until fake fog began filter into the area they stood. Dance music softly played but became increasingly louder as a figure moon danced his way out of the little boys clothing section to where they were. Puzzled looks were exchanged which became disgusted scowls as they noticed where he was grabbing himself. He turned to face them, exclaiming a " Ch-mona!" and suddenly ripped off his pants revealing. . .Green play-doh! Sarah grabbed the play-doh and transported herself back to PWD. When she noticed Uoka had not returned with her, Sarah had almost became afraid. Before the girl could transport back to her friend, the missing asian appeared. No injury was inflicted but she was in pain from how hard she was laughing. " Oh...haha..you...HAHA should have SEEN...heheh...IT!" the giggling girl could barely make out. She clutched her stomach in agony. " Make...haha...it..haha...STOP!" Sarah couldn't help her friend though because she started laughing herself. Soon the two were rolling on the floor cackling like hyenas high on laughing gas. Barney watched in embarassment then finally spoke up. " Micheal Jackson is my twin brother." Only awkward silence answered the dinosaur.

Finally, their last mission. To steal a few strands from the feared Queen ADD. Seemed simple enough except, she only came out on March 14th which was ,''Save-a-Spider day'' but it was October 5th! Gasp! The horror! With _another_ sudden problem, Uoka used her asian powers to think of a brilliant plan. First, she would throw a '' Save-a-spider day party.'' Then while Queen ADD was busy eating cake, she will sneak behind and bash her head in! All this careful scheming took a few days and when Uoka was about to carry this plan out she was stopped as Sarah grabbed Uoka by the arm and shook her head in disappointment. A confused look flashed over the tan girl's face. Sarah then raised her other arm to show what she had in her hand. It was three or four strands of Queen ADD's hair. A grin passed over the duo's faces. " Mission accomplished!"


	3. Barney's last tricks

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Oh no! The devious Barney had yet _another_ trick up his non-existing sleeve! Sarah and Uoka had to complete one last mission! The task, to teach Micheal Jackson NOT to molest young children. Armed with only a straw, a rubber band, and some gum Uoka used these ingredients to create a magical pill that made people NOT molest others! After given the drug, Micheal Jackson NEVER molested again.

With a roll of their eyes, the girls had to complete _another _flipping mission! This one would be a bit more difficult to execute though. What was it? To get R.Kelly _un-trapped _from that dang closet! Using only a thirteen year old girl, a water pill (that makes you urinate a lot), and a video camera. Fifteen minutes later and the urge to shower until they scrubbed their skin off was the result of this plan.

'' Did you HAVE to give him that water pill?'' asked Uoka. She shook her arm to get more feeling back into them. '' Is it MY fault his urine turned you into gold?'' snapped Sarah. Uoka sent Sarah a glare and replied, '' Atleast **I** didn't sell my best friend for $29.95!'' Sarah looked in disbelief. '' I got you back didn't I?!'' Uoka's glare intensified. '' For THREE bleeping DOLLARS!!!'' she bellowed. Sarah turned with a stubborn pout. '' If it wasn't for my native american sage, you would still be a statue inside some weirdo's apartment.'' Uoka gaped then snapped her jaw shut. She was right but the proud asain wasn't going to admit it. She instead chose to turn around and begin walking away form Barney's lair. After the last mission, the girls threatened the poor dinosaur to give them what they wanted or his insides would make their first appearance to the outside world, with the help of a rusty fork.

When the two returned to Sarah's castle, they practiced and trained. Even though most of the night resulted in Uoka being smacked with a stick from Sarah because of something done wrong. Finally, everyone was ready for battle. '' Do you have everything?'' asked Uoka. '' Yeah. You?'' replied Sarah. Uoka nodded and they proceeded as plan. First, they were to smack the witches with the BMP plate. Then, blind them with play-doh, have Micheal Jackson moonwalk on their faces, poison their bodies with Queen ADD's hair, use the Walah Walah berries to crush them and finally, trap them in R.Kelly's closet!

Shouts of joy were heard throughout the lands. The reason? Uoka and Sarah had done what hundreds of knights, heroes and warriors could not do. They killed the evil witches that diluted the human world!


	4. We just met

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

: author notes

Pickle Wickle Dickle fell into a short time of peace after the defeat of the witches but something else was brewing with evil over the horizon...

A yelp of pain followed by a laugh was heard throughout the BMP forest. Uoka shot a glare towards Sarah as she rubbed her bruised knee. The clumsy asian had tripped over a rotting log and instead of concern or pity coming from her friend, she recieved laughs and embarassment. With a blush she stood up and walked away. Sarah soon recovered and followed her friend, wiping her eyes from the amused tears that fell. The duo had been walking in the forest, enjoying the peaceful breeze and views of nature. Little incidents like these happend daily. Either Uoka unintentionally harmed herself or she invoked Sarah's wrath and suffered the consequences. All the asian took in stride, keeping her head up and holding the pain in. '_A warrior must never show pain_' or so some old asian dude said before he keeled over or was it a fortune cookie? Uoka shook her head of the thoughts.

A sudden noise from a nearby bush startled the girls out of their peaceful silence. They quickly switched into defensive positions and waited for the threat to emerge. Another noise was followed by a tall, pale girl falling out of the bush she was hiding in. The girl, unaware that she had company, stood up and brushed herself off. She was skinny, had light brown hair, stood around 5'7 and had blue eyes. As the two continued to study her she finally noticed them. " Ahhhhh! Who the hell are you?!" she screamed. The two gave her confused glances and answered, " Are you serious? You don't KNOW us? We're FAMOUS in PWD!" The girl returned their confused looks with one of her own. Uoka and Sarah exchanged looks that slowly morphed into grins. " Ready?" Uoka winked. " Let's go." Sarah finished. They both disappeared and the forest went dark. As if the lights were cut off. A fog machine appeared out of nowhere and began to create a smokey atmosphere. Quiet jazz music played and suddenly a spotlight appeared on a clothed figure with a hat covering their face. " It starts with an S and ends with an H" " the figure said in a sultry tone. Another spotlight, another figure. " Begans with U finishes with A" whispered in the same fashion. The music dropped then boomed into full out swing music. The figures whipped off their coats revealing bold colored costumes. " Sar-aaaah here!" shouted the native american. " With Uo-kaaaaa!" the asian finished. The two broke out in song about their accomplishments and their life along with lots of glitter and dancing. Fifteen minutes later. " Wow! Did you guys really do all that?!" The girl they later found out was named Kayla screeched in a girly tone. Uoka and Sarah nodded with smug smirks. " That's so cool!" she giggled. The trio became fast friends and soon found out many facts about eachother. Both came to know that Kayla was german and jewish, an ironic twist of blood, and that she came to PWD to forget about a bad past.

Later that night Uoka and Sarah made Kayla an honorary member of the Trailor Park Gang (TPG). To celebrate, they went to Westshore Pizza to dine. Along the way, they picked up a little girl who resembled Uoka but was emo and cut herself alot. Her name was Anna. At Westshore's they ate and threw ice at yet another emo named Veronica and laughed. This continued for quite some time until Kayla mentioned that she had to use the bathroom and excused herself. Minutes passed and the others worried. ' It shouldn't take this long to piss. And if she's reenacting Pearl Habor then she should have warned us.' thought Uoka. " Someone should go check on her." offered Sarah. Uoka and Sarah turned to Anna with evil grins. She gave them a blank stare and rolled her eyes. She got up and walked to the bathroom. A moment later the emo came rushing out with something in her hand. " They took Kayla!" she shouted in a frightened tone. Both pair's of eyes widened and Sarah snatched the note in Anna's hand. Uoka read over Sarah's shoulder. It read:

_1f y00 3va wanna s33 y0 pr3c1ous Kayla aga1n_

_th3n y00 must br1ng us:_

_0prah's w3ave_

_L1l J0n's gr1ll_

_th3 c0v3t3d G0ld3n l0ll1p0p_

_and Bunny track 1c3 cr3am_

_Also, gang f1ght 0n Fr1day_

_L0v3,_

_L0LL1P0P GU1LD_

_p.s. W3 br0ught J3ss1ca back to l1fe! HaHa oh and HA!_

Sarah looked to Uoka in a silent agreement. The asian nodded and they soon went to construct a plan to save their new friend, Kayla. " Alright. The first step of our plan is to...kill your brother, Dar." Sarah glanced at Uoka for any protest, none were revealed. " You're okay with that?" Uoka gave an affirmative nod. " But, he's your brother?!" She shrugged. " So? I hate him. Now I have an alibi if the police ask me why I killed him." The asian replied. Sarah contemplated on this for a moment and soon came to agree. The siblings never could get along. They were always either at eachother's throats or snapping at anything the other said.

A shiny key glinted in the sunlight as Uoka held it up for inspection. After countless minutes of searching through her brother's gutted corpse, she finally found the key needed to open a safe. Inside the safe was the caerfully documented plan to rescue Kayla. Written by the one and only Tupac, this plan was a guaranteed way to freeing their friend from the evil clutches of the Lollipop Guild. Placing the key into the keyhole, Uoka soon opened the safe and retrieved the parchement. This time, Sarah looked over Uoka's shoulder to read the content of the letter. It read:

**Go to the International Mall of Gelatin!**

**Inside the mall**

**Gather these items and then wait for further instructions:**

**A gray bunny with a pink tutu and a rainbow polka dotted shirt from a Build-a-Bear workshop**

**A black unicorn with a silver horn named Melissa.**

**Peter Pan's tights**

" Okay! I'll read more of it later!" Uoka shouted then snapped the document shut. She turned to Sarah and was surprised to find her asleep. The poor girl fell into a bored slumber as the asian took too long to read the list. :Remeber kids! Crack can cause brain problems!: Uoka woke Sarah with a slap to the arm. She awoke with a jolt. " What?! Where am I?" She shouted in a groggy tone. The shorter of the two sent a glareto the other but was soon replaced by a thoughtful frown. " Dude, we need to find a ride to the International mall of Gelatin." Sarah sat up and went into a thinking pose. " Hmmm. Well I can't get a ride. My car turned into a soda can." The native american looked to Uoka, who gave a negative shrug. " My driver is on vacation."

As the two sat outside the International mall of Gelatin, they tried to think of a way to get to their destination. With frustrated sighs the duo was about to give up. " Wait! I have an idea!" Uoka shouted. Sarah gave her a disbelieving look. " How can you possibly get us the to the mall?" A smug smirk began to leak across Uoka's mouth. Reaching behind her back she pulled out the uber cool transporting sticks they had used during their battle with the witches. With an excited grin she presented the sticks. " So?" Sarah replied. " So? So! We use the sticks to transport us to the mall, get the required items, rescue Kayla and just have enough time to get a drink." Uoka finished with an accomplished smile. Sarah raised an eyebrow and stared at the asian for a moment. ' Would this really work?' she thought. With a sigh she raised a hand to take the stick from Uoka. The short girl was beaming. " Yay! You're listening to me!" she giggled. Sarah sent a glare towards the girl but nothing more. " Ok! Ready?" Sarah nodded and said, " Take us to the International mall of Gelatin!" Both were suddenly whisked away in glitter and sexy pink smoke.

When the room stopped spinning and the smoke had cleared, the girls had opened their eyes. What met their eyes shocked them into silence. " Sarah! This isn't the International mall of Gelatin?!" Uoka gasped. " No, this is much worse." Uoka looked to Sarah in horror. " This is the International mall of Russian/ Antartican Gelatin!" Sarah shouted. The screams of terror emitted from the girls resonated throughout the land.


End file.
